Court From Hell

Title: Court From Hell
Author: Ladyholder
Series: Agent Very Far Afloat
Fandom: NCIS, SGA, SG1, JAG
Warnings: Canon Typical
Wordcount: 5053
Authors Notes: When I wrote Episode 9 for this series, I had thought to start with this. It didn’t work, but I did use a lot of it in what was written.

 

“Hey, Bob,” Tony called as he started emptying his pockets into one of the many small bowls in front of the metal detector after putting his laptop and coffee on the conveyer belt for the x-ray machine. He looked at the pile of bits and bobs he’d deposited. “How in the hell do I have so much crap in my pockets?”

“Hey, Agent DiNozzo! Been a long time since you’ve been in the office!” Bob said with a smile as he watched the screen showing the semi-transparent view of his belongings as they moved down the x-ray machine.

“Yeah, I’ve been Agent Afloating,” Tony explained. He stepped through the metal detector and sighed as it beeped. Stepping back, he started patting himself down to see what had set the damn thing off. It was only when he got to his belt buckle that he remembered he’d grabbed the one with the knife in it. “Rule Nine bites me in the ass again.”

“I can wand you?” Bob offered.

“Nope, I’m not doing the special bit,” Tony disagreed before he took the belt off and dropped it on the x-ray machine. When he stepped through the metal detector, it stayed silent and he smiled. “Is Gibbs in?”

Bob nodded once. “He came in at 0600,” he reported as Tony put all his belongings away. The last thing he returned to its rightful place was his ear piece.

“Thanks, Bob. Don’t let him know I’m on my way up. I want it to be a bit of a surprise,” Tony requested with a wink.

“Got it, Agent DiNozzo,” Bob said with a smile. “You have a good day now.”

Tony picked up his coffee and laptop and saluted the guard with the cup. “You too!”

The trip up in the elevator brought up all sorts of nostalgic feelings and Tony shook his head at his own sentimentality. His day was already going to be bad enough due to the interpersonal drama, adding in homesickness was just asking for more insanity on top of what was normal.

When the doors opened onto the bullpen he winced. “Of all the things that didn’t change in here, why did this have to stay the same?”

“Because when the budget comes down to bullets or interior decorating, the smart people go for the bullets, DiNozzo,” Gibbs reminded him. “I thought you were Agent Afloat somewhere I couldn’t look for?”

“Oh, I still am,” Tony confirmed as he walked over to stand in front of Gibbs’ desk. “But I’m back for court. I was able to do the rest long distance. This case, I can’t.”

“Speaking of this case… What have you gotten yourself involved in?” Gibbs asked. He stood up and pulled Tony into a rough hug. “You are looking much better than the last time I saw you. Tom didn’t railroad you into this position, did he?”

“No boss, he didn’t,” Tony returned the hug and let the older man go after a firm squeeze. “I’m just here to check in with JAG. I’ll be heading out around noon to head up to Rhode Island. One of my witnesses is in school for Warrant Officer and she’s got to be there, same as me.”

“What service is she coming out of?” Gibbs asked as he picked up his coffee and took a drink.

“USN. Cooper finally gave in and took a warrant,” Tony said. He had to wonder what the Chief was thinking about being on Earth after more than two years in Pegasus. He’d managed his flight out from Denver with grim self-control. It was way too peopley out there and he wasn’t used to the population density anymore.

“MSC Cooper?” Gibbs asked. He looked at Tony sharply. “Did you get mixed into the same weirdness that sucked her in?”

“Why am I unsurprised that you know Cooper?” Tony asked the heavens. “I know her, let’s leave it at that.”

“Understood,” Gibbs said after several seconds staring at him. “What do you need from us?”

“Space to get organized, and do some research. I doubt I’ll be here long since I have to meet with JAG,” Tony reminded him. “I’ve done my recertifications on my base with a set of Marines standing over me.”

“I saw that. Your shooting’s improved,” Gibbs praised. “Take Kate’s desk. She’s out this morning with a doctor’s appointment.”

“Will do,” Tony said. It was a little odd to be in a different desk while in the office, but he was adaptable. It took only moments to get his laptop out and he signed into the building’s Wi-Fi without issue. For the next hour, he moved steadily through his work making sure to get everything updated and filed so that the last of the evidence he had was ready for JAG to go over.

“Tony!”

Tony looked up to see Abby clumping over to him. Experience reminded him to stand up and take his hug like a man, otherwise he’d be half smothered under her enthusiasm. “Hey Abbs.” The hug she gave him was firm and slightly smothering. Classic Abby hug.

“You look good, Tony-boy,” Abby whispered in his ear as she gave him a final squeeze before letting him go. “You’ve been gone so long. Are you okay?”

“I’m as recovered as I possibly can be, Abs,” Tony promised. When he’d left Gibbs’ team, he’d been recovering from the plague and the only person to see him had been Kate. No one had gotten a chance to see for their own eyes that he was healthy. “The base I’m at is taking great care of me.”

“You’re involved in the weird, aren’t you?” Abby asked accusingly. “Whatever’s sucked you in is super-secret and I can’t find anything on it.”

“And you can’t go look for it either, Abby,” Tony cautioned. “I’m not here for long. So, you’re going to have to let me go again.”

“I don’t want to,” Abby whined softly. Tony could see tears gather in her eyes. “Email just isn’t enough.”

“It’ll have to be,” Tony said softly. “I need you to stay safe here and to keep Gibbs safe too.”

Abby nodded once firmly. “I can do that.”

Tony pulled Abby in for another hug. “Thank you, Abs.”

“You’re welcome, Tony,” Abby whispered.

 

 

 

“Come on, Cooper! You’ve been super quiet about where you’re stationed and we’ve all been talking about our commands. Why are you being so different?”

Cooper turned to look at McKenzie and tried not to sigh. “Because unlike you lot, my duty station is classified. I’ve talked about the generics, but you aren’t cleared to know where I’m stationed and what I do out there. Just learn to live with your curiosity not being satisfied.”

“Seriously, is that why you haven’t said where you’re stationed?” Richards asked as he leaned over at picked up a chicken wing off the platter in front of her.

“Yes,” Cooper confirmed. Thank all the little gods that the classes to become a Warrant Officer were only six weeks long, because she was damn sick of Earth and the less said about her classmates, the better. “Not all of us are in postings where everything is public knowledge.”

“You were a Mess Specialist,” McKenzie bitched before he took a bite of potato skin. Chewing swiftly, he waved the skin at her. “What in the hell could you have seen from inside a kitchen that was classified?”

“I don’t have the time or the energy to educate you on life, McKenzie. Nor am I willing to violate the rules on my security clearance to do so,” Cooper snapped. McKenzie had been needling her the entire time she’d been in school and she was heartily sick of it. If it wouldn’t have gotten her into massive amounts of trouble, she’d have tried to figure out a way to beat the shit out of him, but he wasn’t worth it. “Give. It. Up.”

“Jesus. It’s like you actually think you have something to hide,” McKenzie scoffed.

Cooper looked over at Richards and raised an eyebrow at him. From what she remembered, the man was from Yokosuka, specifically the flagship of the Pacific Fleet and had been in charge of IT department onboard the ship. If there was anyone in their class who should understand secrets, it was him. When he rolled his eyes, she nodded once. Yeah, he was aware. “McKenzie, you don’t need to know. You just want to know. All you’ve ever needed to know was my rank before my commissioning, how much I beat your ass at both our classwork and our PT and how much I can’t stand you.”

From the way the man flushed, he wasn’t happy to be reminded that he was way behind her in the class rankings. Cooper took a sip of her beer and kept her gaze steady as she stared him down. Be damned if she was going to let a little pissant like McKenzie get to her.

“I don’t know why you dislike me. I’m a good guy,” McKenzie muttered. “Maybe you’re a dyke.”

“And maybe you’re an asshole,” Cooper retorted, voice even. “How I like my sexual acts has no influence on why I can’t stand you. You’re an entitled little brat who’s managed to slide by on glam and charm. You latch onto people, use them until they can’t give you anything more and then dump them to find a new victim. I’m not going to let you latch onto me.”

Richards hummed softly at her announcement and then nodded. “Stay away from me too. Matter of fact,” he turned around and waved at their waitress before pointing at McKenzie. “He’ll take his check and a box for his leftovers.”

“Maybe she’s putting out for you and that’s why you like her?” McKenzie sneered before their waitress appeared with his box. He took his bill and dropped a credit card in the folder before handing it back to her. “Is that it? You two are fucking and you don’t want anyone to know?”

“Never met him before we started class, McKenzie. But you go right ahead and try to say shit. It won’t go the way you want it to,” Cooper informed him with a lethal smile.

“How do you know? I’m sure that you don’t want anyone to investigate your so called ‘secret and confidential’ posting. I bet it’s somewhere stupid like Great Lakes,” McKenzie said as he shoved his food into the box. When their waitress appeared with his receipts, he signed them and handed over the paper. He shoved his card in his wallet before standing up. “That’s where it is, isn’t it? We’ll see how you like it when the tables are turned, Cooper.”

“You keep deluding yourself, McKenzie,” Cooper responded. She held her peace as he walked out and then leaned over to look at the man standing a short distance away from their table. “Hey, Tony. Why are you here?”

“Court,” Tony said with a shrug. “What in the hell was that about?”

“Hang on. Let me introduce you two,” Cooper turned to look at Richards. “WO1 Andrew Richards, this is Supervisory Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS.”

Tony offered a hand to Richards and smiled when the other man gamily shook it. “Nice meeting you, Warrant.”

“Nice to meet you too, Agent DiNozzo,” Richards said before he slanted a glance at Cooper. “How do you know an NCIS agent?”

“Eh,” Cooper waved that question away. When Richards kept staring at her she shrugged. “He’s stationed where I am as our Agent Afloat.”

“Yup. And I heard your conversation with the twerp,” Tony admitted. “Cooper. What in the hell?”

“McKenzie wants to have someone clear the path for him so he can get showered with reflected glory. Since I’ve been listed as number one in class, I got chosen to be the coat tail provider. I declined the honor. I also declined to date him when he so graciously offered,” Cooper reported. “He’s also been trying to find out where I’m stationed since I declined to give my posting.”

“You’re not listed as being from the same place as the rest of our merry band?” Tony said before he blinked and his eyes lost focus. “I’m going to need to get that fixed because that’s bullshit. Does the General know?”

“No idea,” Cooper admitted. She reached for her purse and pulled out her tablet and thumbed it on. After inputting her password and thumbprint, she opened her calendar. “Huh. It is time for me to do my thing, isn’t it?”

“Yup. The plan was, you did your schooling, got your new, shiny rank, we do our thing and then head home,” Tony reminded her. “How much are you bringing back to base?”

“I’ve already ordered everything and have been sending it back to base for the last six weeks. And since the Navy’s been treating me like an adult, I even managed to get my own shopping done,” Cooper told him tartly. “Walter’s been sending me all sorts of messages from the General about my purchases.”

“General?” Richards asked carefully. “Are you on a Marine base?”

“Eh,” Cooper said and rocked one hand back and forth. “I’m on a base that is multi-service and Marines make up the biggest population.”

“True. And isn’t your boyfriend one?” Tony teased.

“Eugene is indeed a Marine. And that reminds me, I need to get him something before I head back to base,” Cooper muttered as she made a series of notes. “Did he take the comforter off the bed?”

“You mean your knitting project?” Tony asked as he leaned back and allowed his waitress to put his meal in front of him. “Thank you. No, he didn’t.”

“You’re welcome, sir. Do you two want anything else?” she asked.

“Another beer for me and another plate of potato skins?” Cooper asked. “With extra bacon and cheese?”

“Missing bacon, Cooper?” Tony asked.

“Hell yes,” Cooper muttered. “It goes too fast and I can’t make it with our resources on hand. I’ve tried.”

Tony’s eyebrows went up and she sighed as he started to laugh. “Is that what that thing was right before you left?”

“Yes, damn it. At least it tasted good,” Cooper sulked. Her creation hadn’t been bacon as anyone knew it, but it was more a salted and smoked meat product. Good, but nowhere near bacon. Then again, Pegasus didn’t actually have pigs.

“True, it did,” Tony agreed. “So, what did you get Warrant for, Richards?”

“Information Systems Technology with a side order of Digital Security, sir,” Richards informed him promptly.

At the glance Tony gave her, Cooper nodded. She’d already forwarded Richards’ information to the General and McKay. Having someone in the military who could take some of the strain off the scientist’s shoulders would be a very good thing and everything she’d seen of Richards showed he’d be a good fit for the city.

“Cool,” Tony said before he started eating his meal.

When Richards didn’t relax and start eating, Cooper nudged him. “Tony’s not an asshole. He’s also not going to use anything against you unless you do something illegal. You eating dinner isn’t going to set him off.”

“Unless you like pineapple on your pizza and then I might give you the hairy eyebrow for such sacrilege,” Tony agreed.

Richards laughed and then shook his head. “Okay, I get it. You weren’t here for anything nefarious.”

“Nope,” Tony confirmed. He ate some more of his meal and hummed softly as he chewed.

“Good to know,” Richards said before he started on his own meal.

Cooper laughed softly and leaned out of the way for their waitress to deposit her new order of potato skins. It was good to see someone from the city, even if she hadn’t been expecting him to show up in Rhode Island to talk to her.

 

 

Standing tall and true was second nature to her and Cooper carefully flexed her feet and knees in an effort to keep from locking them in place and restricting the blood flow to her legs. The speeches were long and boring and keeping an attentive look on her face while staring straight ahead was a struggle. She was going to have to make sure to thank the Colonel for not putting his troops through shit like this.

The captain stepped up to her and reached out to pin her new rank pins on her collar. “Congratulations, Warrant.”

“Thank you, sir,” Cooper murmured.

As the Captain sidestepped to the next person in her class, she suppressed the urge to reach up and touch her new rank. Months of planning, a trip back to Earth through the stargate, and weeks of study and she’d managed it. Scanning the crowd without turning her head, she smiled softly as she found Tony taking video.

Shifting slightly, Cooper settled down to wait for the captain to finish his part of the ceremony. After the pinning was completed, there would be a small meet and greet time and then they would be released. She already had her bags packed and her orders were in her Navy supplied purse since she was going to be in uniform.

Turning her attention back to what the captain was doing, she listened as he concluded the ceremony and released them. Shaking her arms and legs slightly to return feeling to her limbs, she headed for Tony to see if he’d gotten the whole ceremony or just her pinning.

“Cooper,” McKenzie called as she put her foot on the stairs up to where Tony was sitting.

“McKenzie,” Cooper returned evenly as she pivoted to stare at her classmate. “What do you want?”

“So where have you been assigned?” McKenzie asked. He grinned smugly. “I’m scheduled to head out to the Ronald Regan. Where are you going?”

“Back to my command, McKenzie. I didn’t get orders to transfer out,” Cooper informed him, voice even. “You have fun on the aircraft carrier.” Turning around, she headed for the stairs again. When McKenzie placed a hand on her arm, she sighed. “I’m quite certain that I told you to leave me alone.”

“You are never going to get ahead if you keep biting the hand of everyone who offers you help,” McKenzie chided. “Maybe I can get your orders changed so you can transfer to the Regan as well. So, we can get to know each other outside of class.”

“Cooper, isn’t this the guy you told to piss off last night?” Tony asked as he walked down the stairs to stand behind her.

“Yup, he is,” Cooper confirmed. She turned her gaze towards McKenzie and let her contempt show through. “I told you I wanted nothing to do with you. I suggest you drop your hand and leave me alone. Forget you know me. It’ll be better for you if you do.”

“Still trying to sell the idea that you’re going to some super-secret base when you’re really stationed out of Great Lakes?” McKenzie asked, pity thick in his voice. “Why don’t you just admit to it?”

“He’s persistent,” Tony observed as he pulled his jacket to the side so his badge was on display. “On the border of getting himself arrested for trying to access information above his clearance. Which is Confidential by the way. He barely has the clearance to know your name, let alone what he learned here.”

“Good to know,” Cooper said with a smile. She turned to look at McKenzie. “Go the fuck away and leave me alone.”

“I was sure you were pulling my leg, Agent DiNozzo. I didn’t actually think one of my students was so lacking in sense to harass a fellow student right in front of everyone,” Captain Robinson observed from behind McKenzie. Cooper saw with interest that McKenzie had turned sheet white. “Warrant McKenzie, I would suggest that you head for my office. And while you’re waiting on me to arrive, think over what it means when someone tells you ‘No’. I’m going to be very curious about your answer.”

Cooper watched in silence as McKenzie took off with his tail between his legs. “Thank you for the save, sir. He’s been persistent and has only recently graduated to getting handsy.”

“I’ll be taking care of that,” Robinson reassured her. “It’s been good seeing you again, Cooper. Are you happy where you are?”

“Yes, sir, I sure am,” Cooper confirmed. She smiled at her former CO and gestured at Tony. “I’ve got friends, I enjoy my work. I’m allowed to do what I need to do so I can do my job correctly. I’m happy sir.”

“Good to know,” Robinson said with a smile. “Take care of yourself, Cooper.”

“I will, sir,” Cooper confirmed. She carefully saluted him and smiled when he returned it.

“He seems nice,” Tony said as Robinson walked off.

Cooper nodded once. “Oh, he’s nice when you’re doing your best and obeying the rules. He’s hell on wheels when you fuck up and you’re caught.”

“Why am I not surprised? You ready to head out?” Tony asked.

“Yup. I’ve got my stuff all packed. Let’s get this road trip on the road,” Cooper said with a smile. “Please tell me you have snacks?”

“I do indeed,” Tony confirmed.

“Excellent!”

 

“Warrant, I have a question,” Captain Rabb asked as they were wrapping up the last meeting they had called before the trial.

“Yes, sir? What’s the question?” Cooper asked. She had a notebook out and was quickly jotting down the last suggestions Rabb had given her for the trial the next day.

“Why did you bring a garden to Atlantis anyway?”

Cooper stopped writing and then set her pen down to cross her hands over the paper. “Permission to speak freely?”

Rabb looked over at DiNozzo and raised an eyebrow when the agent shrugged. “You asked. She’s going to answer, but the answer isn’t kind to anyone.”

The captain sat back in his chair and swiveled it from side to side. “I take it you asked this too?”

“Yup,” DiNozzo confirmed. “And then I researched it and then went to a pier to scream at the water for an hour or so.”

“And got the Colonel wondering what had set you off,” Cooper reminded him dryly. “He was not amused when you told him why.”

“I wasn’t amused, Cooper,” DiNozzo snapped. He held up a hand and took a deep breath. “You need to hear it, Harm. It’s pertinent.”

“Well, okay then,” Rabb turned back to her and nodded. “Permission to speak freely granted.”

“Thank you, sir,” Cooper said with a smile that she could feel sliding into a grimace. “The first thing you have to understand is that I was brought onto the Expedition six weeks before the date we were to ship out. While then Major Sheppard was the latest officer addition, my crew and I were the last enlisted members of the Expedition to sign on. And the reason we signed on is that General O’Neill stuck his foot in it and insisted that Colonel Sumner bring a Services Department. The Colonel was unhappy with the order.”

“I didn’t know that part,” DiNozzo murmured.

“It’s not recorded anywhere in the documents that I reviewed,” Rabb admitted. “How did you know the Colonel was unhappy with O’Neill’s orders?”

“Sir, we were an Expedition of 150 people. Divided roughly half civilian, and half military. Everyone knew everyone’s business almost as soon as they had it. Anyway. Colonel Sumner had requisitioned enough MREs for thirteen months, with everyone eating two to three per day,” Cooper informed him. “There were no provisions for fresh food, no way to heat the MRE’s up, no water. Just cases and cases of MREs and nothing else.”

“I can’t see the scientists eating those, day in and day out,” Tony said, shaking his head.

“There are twenty-four different meals in a case of MREs. And only twenty-four. There would have been a mutiny within weeks,” Cooper snapped. “He also left off vitamins, entertainment, cleaning supplies, uniforms, cutlery…The list is endless. I don’t like to speak ill of the dead, but Colonel Sumner wasn’t interested in the provisioning side of the Expedition and Dr. Weir didn’t know anything about it. We had enough bullets and guns, but anything else was an afterthought.”

“Wow,” Robb ran a hand over his face and then nodded at the mention of her original garden on their timeline. “So that’s why you brought the garden.”

“One reason, yes,” Cooper admitted. “General O’Neill and I were able to add enough supplies to the manifest that I didn’t have to feed people MREs for every meal. People got actual food and not salt-flavored nutrition. The other reason I brought the garden was strictly pragmatic. While the general had promised to find us after a year, there really were no guarantees. The seeds I brought with me were all heritage plants that could be allowed to go back to seed and produce the next generation. I’ve been adding to my seed bank with every trip Daedalus makes because we don’t know if there will come a day when we’re cut off. Being self-supporting has been the goal from day one.”

“And if you were cut off, you knew you had food that humans could eat,” Rabb said, nodding wisely.

“Yes.” Cooper rubbed her temples as she thought of the first six months of their time in the city. She’d been so stressed she’d come close to giving herself an ulcer and had only occasionally gotten a full night’s sleep. “Sourcing native food sources was a massive need. I managed to get an in with the Teams and most of them were on the lookout for food stuffs that could be either bargained for or brought back to be grown on the city. We have a garden at the base of the main tower that looks pretty, but it’s all food. The Athosians grow food on the mainland and we trade back and forth with them. We fish off the piers and that’s used for almost half our protein needs. I’ve pushed Dr. Weir into trading the salt we produce due to the desalination process for grain. I’m working on getting permission to bring bees to Atlantis so we can expand our greenhouses because it’s great that we have nanites that can do the job, but they give everyone the heebee’s, and honey would be nice to have too.”

“Have you talked to anyone about your need to make sure everyone’s fed?” DiNozzo asked, voice serious.

“Talked to the Colonel, Dr. Weir and Major Lorne. I’ve also talked to Ms. Emmagan about what I can do for the Athosians,” Cooper admitted. “The General knows my worries as well and he’s all for me being this paranoid. We’re on the ass end of the supply line and the only connection we have is one ship with a finite limit to its cargo space. And it serves the Expedition better if the Daedalus brings munitions, non-edible supplies, personal gear, and the like. I can make or grow food. My people can process the raw product into something we can cook with. I just need to be left alone to do it.”

“Which is why you went Warrant,” Rabb exclaimed. He smiled when they both looked at him. “Sorry, I’d wondered. You’d been offered the opportunity before, Warrant, and had refused it. There had to be a reason for taking it now.”

“Well, I sure as hell wasn’t going to be a Mustang,” Cooper bitched. “That’d take more time than I would feel comfortable with. As it is, it’s been nine weeks since I’ve been on Atlantis and I’m not too sure what’s been happening with my people.”

“Jones has them all well in hand, Warrant,” DiNozzo soothed. “He wanted to let you know that the biologists are sad to confirm that Pegasus doesn’t have a pig equivalent. And they did look.”

“Damn, no homemade bacon,” Cooper sighed. She made a note in her book to investigate getting whole pigs shipped out to Pegasus. “There has to be something. I’ll ask the Teams to be on the lookout. And keep trying my work arounds.”

Rabb waved a hand at her and gestured at the paperwork in front of them. “Back to business. When Thatch showed up?”

“I was hoping that I would get a supply officer that I could work with to help me manage the pile of work I’m piling up,” Cooper admitted. “Instead, I got the kid who wanted to get rid of everything alien and have the Expedition eating only what the Daedalus could haul between galaxies. And get rid of the fresh foods that we were growing. Basically, MRE’s again. There was no way I was going to deal with that again. I managed to get him to go talk to the Colonel and the Colonel made his decision based on Thatch’s behavior.”

“And here we are,” Rabb finished.

“And here we are,” Cooper agreed.

 

 

“Please state your name for the record,” Commander Rabb directed Cooper after she’d been sworn in. Tony carefully watched her and relaxed as she gave Harm exactly what he had requested.

That had been the hardest thing for her to get used to when Harm and the rest of the JAG members had walked her through what to expect with her part in the trial. Cooper was used to supplying all the information needed when asked a question. Teaching her to give just the information requested had been rough.

Harm checked his papers before he looked up at Cooper. “What was your position on Atlantis at the time Ensign Thatch was assigned to the city?”

“At the time Ensign Thatch had been assigned to Atlantis, I was the senior most Mess Specialist assigned to the Expedition,” Cooper informed him evenly.

“And that meant what in terms of the chain of command on the city?” Harm asked.

“It meant that I was in effect my own department head,” Cooper explained. “I reported directly to Major Lorne on a day-to-day basis.”

“This means that all your supply needs would be filtered through him for approval before it was sent on?” Harm asked.

Tony figured Harm was laying out to everyone that the Services department had