Terms of… Endearment?

Title: Terms of… Endearment?
Fandom: NCIS, H50
Pairings: The Mothership
Prompt: Terms of Endearment
Warnings: None
Wordcount: 1238


“My darling, my dearest, my most lovely partner who I worship every chance I get!”

Steve stared at the phone in his hand for a moment before he put it back to his ear. “You’re surrounded by your coworkers, aren’t you Tony?”

“You betcha, darling. I can’t wait to see you again. You’ll be here next Saturday?”

“I’ll be in that Friday night, Tony. And we’re going to have a reservation at a hotel so the interfering busybodies you call coworkers don’t try to but in,” Steve informed him. “Room service too. Because damn if we’re leaving the room for the first 48 hours. I’ll be making the arrangements so your coworkers can’t get a hold of where we’re staying.”

He didn’t take leave often, but when he did, he wanted to spend it with his lover. And that meant that they needed to work around the insanity that was Tony’s schedule. It was a delicate balancing act to arrange for time off for Tony and getting Gibbs to actually give it to him without a mass of drama. Add in the coworkers from hell and there was no way Steve would be willing to stay in Tony’s apartment.

“I’ll put the time in now with Shepard,” Tony confirmed. “We’re not scheduled to be on that weekend, so I should be able to get the time without much of a problem, sugarplum.”

“I have a week, Tony. Make sure you can take it. I know HR was getting on your case about using it or losing it,” Steve reminded him. “And make absolutely certain Gibbs knows and signs off on it.”

“Sweetness, what would I do without you?” Tony asked.

Steve snorted once and shook his head. How the hell Tony’s coworkers bought the overblown terms of endearment his lover was using, he would never, ever know. Oblivious, the lot of them. Except Gibbs and from the way Tony was talking, his boss was nowhere near the area. He was rarely this flowery when the Marine was around.

“Be bored,” he reminded him.

True. I can’t wait to see you again my most darling one. I have so much I want to discuss with you,” Tony promised. Steve could hear the sound of a keyboard being typed on and smiled in satisfaction as he heard a very firm keystroke. “Okay, so I requested a weeks’ worth of vacation and I attached the use or lose memo to it, so it should be approved. I’ll see you in ten days.”

“Yes, you will,” Steve confirmed. “And I plan on doing a number of things to you that might be illegal in the District of Columbia, so be prepared.”

“Well now, that sounds promising. Tell me more,” Tony purred.

“Not while you’re at work I won’t. Better get back to it,” Steve said with a laugh.

“Fine,” Tony sounded disappointed, but Steve was going to stand firm. Phone sex wasn’t for work. “I’ll talk to you tonight sweet cheeks.”

“Jackass,” Steve muttered. He was going to ignore the laughter Tony let loose at that. “Talk to you tonight.”



“If you are going to take the week off, let alone the whole week, you had better make sure Gibbs is good with it,” McGee sniped as Tony closed the line on his call.

“And what makes you think I won’t, McNosy?” Tony asked as he pulled out a post-it pad. He had a special set that were just for leaving Gibbs notes. Electric green and lined, they were perfect to slap on Gibbs’ computer screen where even he couldn’t miss them. And after some very pointed conversations, everyone knew to leave the damn things alone. Even Ziva.

McGee just gave him a pitying look. “Because you’re planning on taking time off and he’s never happy with you aren’t here?”

“Not my problem, McNervous,” Tony said as he dashed off a note detailing his plans. His computer dinged, letting him know he had a new email and he checked it as a matter of course. His leave was approved and Shepard had even given him an extra week, with the stipulation that he needed to take the leave before HR had a fit. “Well now, isn’t that nice of her.”

“Nice of who?” Gibbs asked behind his left ear.

Tony didn’t start at the sound since he had smelled him coming, he just pointed at the email. “I’m apparently taking two weeks’ vacation starting next Friday. I plan on spending at least a week with my boo.”

“Your boo had better remember to return you in fighting shape,” Gibbs muttered as he walked over to his desk. “Last time you saw them, you came back with a limp.”

“Your boo?” McGee asked. He sounded horrified. “What are you? Twelve? Can’t you call them by name?”

“I could,” Tony allowed. “But I’m not going to. Suffer in not knowing, McCurious.”

“And don’t go poking around in his business either,” Gibbs stared over at McGee with hard eyes. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you and Abby poking your noses into places where they don’t belong.”

“Boss! It’s only Tony. We just want to know!” McGee whined.

Tony drew in a deep breath and held it for a three-count before he pulled out his phone to send a text to his financial advisor. He wanted to make sure that his assets were locked up tight. So tight that no one could get in, not even Senior. “Hey Gibbs, what would you say to me changing my name?”

“Senior giving you fits again?” Gibbs asked as he tapped out his password to bring his computer up. “And McGee, you don’t need to know what DiNozzo is doing 24/7. If he wants to keep something from you, he can.”

“Yes, boss,” McGee muttered before slumping down behind his own computer.

From the pattern of taps, he was talking to someone. Tony would lay even odds he was complaining to Abby about how mean they were being to him. In the interest of better safe than sorry, he emailed HR with his request for a name change citing the last mess with Senior and his nosy coworkers who didn’t seem to respect his personal space.

“If you do that, you should use your mother’s name,” Gibbs suggested. “And check to see if your boo has any other suggestions.”

“We talked about it the last time they were here,” Tony responded absently. “My honey chicken is all for me leaving Senior behind.”

“What is with the terms of enragement?” Ziva asked as she settled back into her seat. “You were using many sickening ones earlier. Is that really how you talk to your girlfriends?”

Tony turned to look at Gibbs and shook his head at her mangling of idioms again. “It’s terms of endearment, Ziva and yes, this is how I talk to my partner when I’m not with them.”

From the face she was pulling, she was disgusted at his soppiness. McGee was mirroring it, so that was a win. “No wonder you are single at your age. You are a total failure at actually knowing what a woman wants. It is sad.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” Tony told her, amused. He chuckled and shook his head. Yeah, he had a lot to discuss with Steve. Name changes, possible promotions and there was a ring burning a hole in his pocket. Lots of things to discuss.




  1. Awww! I love it….especially the name change idea.

  2. Terms of engagement

  3. Many, many things to discuss. 🙂

  4. Tony and Steve is another great pairing. *grins* I love clueless McGee. Gibbs seems in the know. Wonderful. Thanks for sharing!

  5. <3 Lovely story! Thanks for it!

  6. Thank you for such a fun read! I wonder if Steve will become a hyphen Paddington

  7. Greywolf the Wanderer

    ah, I really enjoyed this. Tony and Steve make a marvelous pair, and it’s always fun to read about Ziva and McGee getting chewed out! ;-)>

  8. Fun story. Tim, Ziva and Abby’s heads would explode if they knew who Tony was talking to.

  9. Great Story

  10. Greywolf the Wanderer

    these 2 together are the noms, the bees knees, and the bomb diggity!!

    all serious literary terms, natch. ;-P

  11. GayeLynn Constien

    Totally love this story! And if your Muse decided on a follow up where Senior and the rest got educated by Steve, well your imagination is obviously better than mine. And I so enjoy that it is

  12. Lovely. I love all the names. Thank you.

  13. I vote for Anthony McGarrett.
    Love it. Thank you

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.